Half a Year After It Left, I Still Can’t Put Its Bowl Away

It has been half a year since it left, yet I still can't bring myself to put its bowl away.
It passed away peacefully that day.
I sat blankly for an entire afternoon.
When I finally snapped out of my daze,
my hands were already washing its food bowl.
I scrubbed it thoroughly clean.
It felt like a ritual, yet also a form of escape.

Anyone who has experienced the loss of a pet knows this feeling — the small, stubborn rituals that linger long after they are gone. Grieving the loss of a pet is not something you get over in a day. You learn how to cope with the loss of a pet one quiet moment at a time, and sometimes that means holding onto the things that still smell like them.

I carried the bowl to the balcony to dry.
I thought I was ready to let go.
But early the next morning, I brought it back indoors.
I placed it back in its usual corner, just like old times.

Tiny splatters of salmon cat food still dot the wall,
flung there while it ate its meals.
I cannot bear to wipe them off.
Every time I see that bowl, it feels as if it is still here.
It might come back at night,
take a few licks from the bowl,
glance at me, and leave again.

I keep wondering:
Does putting the bowl away mean "saying goodbye"?
Or does leaving it there represent true "remembrance"?
I cannot tell…

If you are also figuring out how to deal with the loss of a pet, know that there is no right way to grieve. Whether it is keeping their bowl, wearing a piece of memorial jewelry, or choosing handmade pet urns to hold their ashes, or treasuring meaningful pet memorial gifts, every act of remembrance matters. The loss of a pet leaves a space that never quite closes — but the love stays, and that is enough.